miniroth | (no subject)

miniroth

"Out of ambit currently."
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From:

fogsong

Hey. You doing all right?

From:

miniroth

No. But that is fair and mild a consequence all things considered.

From:

fogsong

Wanna talk about it? I made a bunch of cookies, kind of need to offload them on someone.

From:

miniroth

Shouldn't you be worried about the victims, not the victimizer? Zack loves cookies, you know.

From:

fogsong

They're gonna get cookies, too. But they've got each other.

From:

miniroth

I felt it when my control over them broke. They're stronger together than apart.

From:

fogsong

Of course, they love each other. You're always stronger when you've got someone who cares about you at your side.

Why were you trying to control them?

From:

miniroth

[...]

From:

miniroth

My power over others is a contest of wills. Whoever's stronger wins. Zack was brought back used to being under my control and wouldn't contest me. Cloud's too afraid to.

So I gave them an order I knew they'd fight with everything they had.

From:

fogsong

[ hm ]

You realize that was pretty fucked up, right? Even if it worked.

Is it permanent? Or were you just proving to them they could?

From:

miniroth

I know. They wanted a monster to fight against and I am so tired of trying to prove I'm not and failing. So I gave them what they both wanted. Now they can hate me for something I have actually done.

As long as they remember, it should be permanent. Against me. Against some other me.

From:

fogsong

[ The words strike painfully close. Decades ago, she'd done the same—becoming the monster people insisted she was—and it takes her a moment to find the ability to respond. Another reminder that he's only a wounded child, lashing out the way hurt children do. ]

Sephiroth. You're not a monster. You have never been a monster. Fuck, kid, you just damaged your own image to help them. What monster does that?

Give them time. They'll see it, too.

From:

miniroth

[He'd never really bothered with dreams, with hopes for any positive outcome, anything truly good to come of anything.

And as soon as he'd decided to try..]

I am. This too is simply manipulation, I wish to make myself sound better than I truly am. Then you might feel sorry for me and not be as wary as you should be. You should be angry on their behalves. I made them fight each other, and I'd do it again. I inflicted terrible pain, I stripped them of their free will for my amusement!

Zack might, he's easily fooled. In time he may forget I forced him to try to kill his lover, after making sure he killed the previous one.

Cloud never will. He made his mind up about me before we ever crossed paths, and he has always been right. Now it's just more obvious for everyone else to see. No pretty legend wings to fool people into thinking they're looking at a "hero".

From:

fogsong

[ Some of that makes her bristle, but she recognizes what he's trying to do. Sephiroth really is just a kid. ] Yeah, I'm not falling for that, but you can go ahead and keep lying to me if you want. It won't convince me of anything, though. You're not a monster. You have the potential for it, but so do we all.

...a role change. What are you now? [ She's got a feeling it's not Familiar given his attitude. ]

From:

miniroth

The most effective deception is the truth. I know what I am. I've always known.

Myth, of course.

Before I sicced them on each other like beasts in a pit.

From:

fogsong

You know what? That's on me. I did tell you to keep lying. It's still not going to work, though.

If it helps, I'm a Myth now, too. But I never placed much of my worth on what she assigned me. You shouldn't, either.

From:

miniroth

Give it time. You won't be so forgiving when it's you or your mate I'm experimenting on. Would you be as generous then, I wonder? Probably not, if you've also qualified as a Myth. You knew what had to be done when you first put me in that other world.

I'm not interested in pretending to be anything but what I am anymore. Not for you, not for anyone. I don't care if my nature is evil, I don't care if my powers are frightening. They're mine, and I will do with them what I please. It isn't as if they miraculously go away if I pretend to be human just to make people frightened of me feel a little bit better.

From:

fogsong

Sephiroth, I've seen what haunts you. I know the shape your demons take. Don't be stupid. Do not call Mayerling my mate, and do not threaten him. You can pretend to be a villain all you'd like, but I know what it's like to actually be one.

[ With that out of the way... ]

I know how you feel, okay? I spent my childhood being called a monster simply for being born. And then I spent the years after I left home holding everything in. All the rage, all the hatred. Always so goddamn careful with my abilities because what if I hurt someone.

It's not evil to get tired of pretending or holding back, Sephiroth. You should embrace who you are. It's not your fault you were born this way. It is on you to define yourself, though, and you do that with every action you take. Even now, you're trying so hard to be viewed a certain way, but none of what you've done is convincing me that's what you really want.

From:

miniroth

You know how my story ends, and you still call it 'pretending'.

From:

fogsong

Last I checked, you haven't reached that part of the story. You don't get to claim that as yours, not yet.

From:

miniroth

[It takes time for the next reply to actually appear.]

Maybe you are a monster too, if you're tired of restraint simply because someone else might get upset.

There's not much to be done between where I am now and where it ends except perhaps to summon a meteor. You don't know as much about me and my real nature as you think you do, or you wouldn't waste your breath with such ridiculous thoughts as "what I want".