(no subject)

[miniroth]

"Out of ambit currently."
Leave a message?
Text | Video | Log

Comments

[fogsong]

Of course, they love each other. You're always stronger when you've got someone who cares about you at your side.

Why were you trying to control them?

[miniroth]

[...]

[miniroth]

My power over others is a contest of wills. Whoever's stronger wins. Zack was brought back used to being under my control and wouldn't contest me. Cloud's too afraid to.

So I gave them an order I knew they'd fight with everything they had.

[fogsong]

[ hm ]

You realize that was pretty fucked up, right? Even if it worked.

Is it permanent? Or were you just proving to them they could?

[miniroth]

I know. They wanted a monster to fight against and I am so tired of trying to prove I'm not and failing. So I gave them what they both wanted. Now they can hate me for something I have actually done.

As long as they remember, it should be permanent. Against me. Against some other me.

[fogsong]

[ The words strike painfully close. Decades ago, she'd done the same—becoming the monster people insisted she was—and it takes her a moment to find the ability to respond. Another reminder that he's only a wounded child, lashing out the way hurt children do. ]

Sephiroth. You're not a monster. You have never been a monster. Fuck, kid, you just damaged your own image to help them. What monster does that?

Give them time. They'll see it, too.

[miniroth]

[He'd never really bothered with dreams, with hopes for any positive outcome, anything truly good to come of anything.

And as soon as he'd decided to try..]

I am. This too is simply manipulation, I wish to make myself sound better than I truly am. Then you might feel sorry for me and not be as wary as you should be. You should be angry on their behalves. I made them fight each other, and I'd do it again. I inflicted terrible pain, I stripped them of their free will for my amusement!

Zack might, he's easily fooled. In time he may forget I forced him to try to kill his lover, after making sure he killed the previous one.

Cloud never will. He made his mind up about me before we ever crossed paths, and he has always been right. Now it's just more obvious for everyone else to see. No pretty legend wings to fool people into thinking they're looking at a "hero".

[fogsong]

[ Some of that makes her bristle, but she recognizes what he's trying to do. Sephiroth really is just a kid. ] Yeah, I'm not falling for that, but you can go ahead and keep lying to me if you want. It won't convince me of anything, though. You're not a monster. You have the potential for it, but so do we all.

...a role change. What are you now? [ She's got a feeling it's not Familiar given his attitude. ]

[miniroth]

The most effective deception is the truth. I know what I am. I've always known.

Myth, of course.

Before I sicced them on each other like beasts in a pit.

[fogsong]

You know what? That's on me. I did tell you to keep lying. It's still not going to work, though.

If it helps, I'm a Myth now, too. But I never placed much of my worth on what she assigned me. You shouldn't, either.

[miniroth]

Give it time. You won't be so forgiving when it's you or your mate I'm experimenting on. Would you be as generous then, I wonder? Probably not, if you've also qualified as a Myth. You knew what had to be done when you first put me in that other world.

I'm not interested in pretending to be anything but what I am anymore. Not for you, not for anyone. I don't care if my nature is evil, I don't care if my powers are frightening. They're mine, and I will do with them what I please. It isn't as if they miraculously go away if I pretend to be human just to make people frightened of me feel a little bit better.

[fogsong]

Sephiroth, I've seen what haunts you. I know the shape your demons take. Don't be stupid. Do not call Mayerling my mate, and do not threaten him. You can pretend to be a villain all you'd like, but I know what it's like to actually be one.

[ With that out of the way... ]

I know how you feel, okay? I spent my childhood being called a monster simply for being born. And then I spent the years after I left home holding everything in. All the rage, all the hatred. Always so goddamn careful with my abilities because what if I hurt someone.

It's not evil to get tired of pretending or holding back, Sephiroth. You should embrace who you are. It's not your fault you were born this way. It is on you to define yourself, though, and you do that with every action you take. Even now, you're trying so hard to be viewed a certain way, but none of what you've done is convincing me that's what you really want.

[miniroth]

You know how my story ends, and you still call it 'pretending'.

[fogsong]

Last I checked, you haven't reached that part of the story. You don't get to claim that as yours, not yet.

[miniroth]

[It takes time for the next reply to actually appear.]

Maybe you are a monster too, if you're tired of restraint simply because someone else might get upset.

There's not much to be done between where I am now and where it ends except perhaps to summon a meteor. You don't know as much about me and my real nature as you think you do, or you wouldn't waste your breath with such ridiculous thoughts as "what I want".

[fogsong]

That's not what makes me a monster.

And if I don't know, tell me. Explain your real nature to me, Sephiroth.

[miniroth]

I don't owe you explanations. Go argue my 'goodness' to someone interested in listening, if you can find anyone, and leave me be.

[fogsong]

Where are you at?

[miniroth]

I'm not going to tell you just because you asked. That's the entire point of asking to be left alone.

[fogsong]

I got cookies? I already set a bunch aside for you.

I won't even bring up your 'goodness' or lack thereof.

[miniroth]

[Part of him very much wants to give in. He could still remember the dream or delusion she featured in, where even in the twisted echoes of the Otherworld, he'd been ... safe. Protected. That dream Sharon had been a point of refuge, and her close friendship with his two latest victims was irrelevant.

Of course, it hadn't been real. None of it; it could only ever be the dreams a pathetic child could conjure. Actual reality was waiting for when he woke up.

Everything he wanted would only ever be in dreams. Deluding himself otherwise only ended in pain.]

Do you know why I left Lapine and didn't tell anyone where I was going?

[fogsong]

I'm guessing it's because you don't want anyone to know where you are. I get that. I just...

Listen, I'm worried about you. I care. With everything that's happened, you deserve to know you've got someone on your side right now. And I've got a lot of cookies. They're pretty fucking good, too. Chocolate chunk and snickerdoodle.

[miniroth]

[Her focus should be on the victims, not the victimizer. They needed the reassurance and company and people on their side in a steadily shrinking pool of friends. What would happen, if their trust in her was violated like that? He'll just have to make sure she makes the right choices, before she gets added to the list of people he's manipulated.]

Cloud and Zack are your friends, Sharon. You shouldn't be offering a hand to the one that tortured them.

We both know already how any visit unfolds regardless; I am told I'm just a kid and life's unfair, there's some shoulder pats perhaps, and then you leave, your part done. I don't have it in me to pretend that makes anything better today. I'm sorry.

[fogsong]

They'd understand that I'm offering a hand to someone who needs it, someone I happen to be able to relate with.

It doesn't have to unfold that way, Sephiroth. We don't even have to talk about what's happened. [ It's ultimately what she wants, but right now it's about getting her foot in the door. ] My part won't be done when I leave, either. It doesn't have to be a one-off.

[miniroth]

You vastly overestimate Cloud's willingness to tolerate me in any form. Maybe Zack now too. You're fraternizing with someone who tortured them on purpose.

I've heard that too many times to believe it anymore.

[And every time he fell for it, every time he convinced himself it would be different.

There was still the dream that lingered like an aftertaste, of being safe once, even in a nightmare decaying world.]

I don't want people to know where to find me. That's the point of going missing. If you insist I can come to you, but understand there will be repercussions if it's a trap.